// JavaScript Documentfunction
  
  var zen = new Array();
  
  zen[0] = "If I had been present at creation, I would have given some useful hints. - Alfonso the Wise";
  zen[1] = "He was a wise man who invented God. - Plato";
  zen[2] = "It is a final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us. - Peter de Vries";
  zen[3] = "Man is certainly stark mad. He cannot make a worm, and yet he will be making gods by the dozens. - Montaigne";
  zen[4] = "If I had been the Virgin Mary, I would have said \"No.\" - Margaret Smith";
  zen[5] = "The chicken probably came before the egg because it's hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg.";
  zen[6] = "It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers. - James Thurber";
  zen[7] = "There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana";
  zen[8] = "I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. - Woody Allen";
  zen[9] = "The best way to get praise is to die. - Italian Proverb";
  zen[10] = "After I'm dead, I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument that why I have one. - Cato the Elder";
  zen[11] = "The human mind treats a new idea the same way the body treats a strange protein; it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar, Biologist";
  zen[12] = "The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix";
  zen[13] = "Only the mediocre are always at their best. - Jean Giraudoux";
  zen[14] = "Memorial Service: Farewell party for someone who has already left. - Robert Byrne";
  zen[15] = "Don't be humble. You're not that great. - Golda Meir";
  zen[16] = "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. - Joan Rivers";
  zen[17] = "When I was a child what I wanted to be when I grew up was an invalid. - Quentin Crisp";
  zen[18] = "Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. - Aristotle";
  zen[19] = "The reason husband and wives do not understand each other is because they belong to different sexes. - Dorothy Dix";
  zen[20] = "The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy. - Sam Levenson";
  zen[21] = "If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament. - Florynce Kennedy";
  zen[22] = "It seems that God doesn't approve of abortion. Otherwise, every Pope would have to grow a vagina. - Yoji Toraneko";
  zen[23] = "Sex is the most fun you can have without smiling.";
  zen[24] = "Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing was happening, so I said to here, \"What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?\"";
  zen[25] = "Sex is the biggest nothing of all time. - Andy Warhol";
  zen[26] = "The heaviest object in the world is the body of the woman you have ceased to love. - Marquis de Luc de Clapiers";
  zen[27] = "We want playmates we can own. - Jules Feiffer on marriage";
  zen[28] = "Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something. - Last words of Pancho Villa.";
  zen[29] = "It is better to be a coward for a minute than dead for the rest of your life. - Irish Proverb";
  zen[30] = "Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. - George Bernard Shaw";
  zen[31] = "A manuscript, like a foetus, is never improved by showing it to somebody before it is completed.";
  zen[32] = "Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today. - Herman Work";
  zen[33] = "It takes the publishing industry so long to produce books it's no wonder so many are posthumous. - Teressa Skelton";
  zen[34] = "Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try. - Fran Lebowitz";
  zen[35] = "One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. - Nancy Lady Astor";
  zen[36] = "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone.. but they've always worked for me. - Hunter Thompson.";
  zen[37] = "I would have made a good Pope. - Richard Nixon";
  zen[38] = "When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken. - Benjamin Disraeli";
  zen[39] = "They were such a progressive couple they tried to adopt a gay baby.";
  zen[40] = "I met a guy once who was half Italian and half Chinese. His name was Video Pong.";
  zen[41] = "There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.";
  zen[42] = "The doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advice his client to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright";
  zen[43] = "I think while I nap, so it's not a waste of time. - Martha Stewart";
  zen[44] = "A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic. - Josef Stalin";
  zen[45] = "I love my pussy, it is the complete summation of my life... my pussy is the temple of learning. - Madonna";
  zen[46] = "Human rights will depend on the time, the conditions and the circumstances. They will always be in step with the revolution and its principles. - Saddam Hussein";
  zen[47] = "I've learned that great wealth isn't nearly as good as average sex. - Ted Turner";
  zen[48] = "Hell is other people. - Jean-Paul Sartre";
  zen[49] = "My patience is now at an end. - Adolf Hitler, in 1938";
  zen[50] = "Even now, and you can look at me: Am I a savage person? My conscience is clear. - Pol Pot";
  zen[51] = "Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.";
  zen[52] = "The future isn't what it used to be.";
  zen[53] = "I haven't been wrong since 1961, when I thought I made a mistake. - Bob Hudson";
  //zen[] = "";
  
  
  var xtime = Math.floor(Math.random() * zen.length);
  document.write(zen[xtime]);